a-wandering i go

now, seeing as it’s my last real academic exam of my life (i hope, until i decide to do a masters for some god-only-knows reason), i have been doing very much of nothing today.

of course i’ve read through my notes, once. and i’ve skimmed through the past year’s paper, once. and there’s a mcquestionnaire open on word which i really ought to get started on. but, y’know, tax isn’t my strong point and this exam is a whole lotta tax. and a whole lotta employment law as well. i mean, TUPE? what the hell is that? and more precisely, why is it making my life hell?

the only really interesting thing on the whole 3 month slapdashcrash-course in private acquisitions is actually coming to understand what private equity funds are about, and how the acquisitions are structured. and of course, it also gives me muchos kudos when i can explain to all my non-lawyer friends why exactly that man from KKR or whatever pays less tax than his cleaner. it’s to do with income profit vs capital gains tax, plus a bit of business asset taper relief on the side and an annual exemption. and it’s actually all about percentages, so while this Private (In)equity Gazillionaire pays less tax in percentage terms than his cleaner, in absolute terms, he probably pays a lot more. see, easypeasylemonsqueezy!

(in my opinion, what the government needs to do is to make the whole tax system more finely variegated, so that there are more tax brackets with smaller ranges and maybe a 2% – 5% difference in tax rate between them – but that’s just me, and i’m not the chancellor or a tax lawyer even, so whatever)

anyway, to the real crux of the matter: because tomorrow i shall finish my last exam in a long while, holiday plans are afoot today. and to motivate me further, i received my travel scholarship from the kind folks at my future employer this morning. yes, they’re giving me money to go on holuday, how cool is that? (i also think the cheques that come with spaces for 7 or 8 figures are amazing, but moving on swiftly…)

while i’ve already got july and august mapped out (london-hampshire for wedding-berlin for august-london-singapore), i don’t have any concrete plans for the duration of my south east asian holiday, which is troubling because i can’t stay/live in singapore/parent’s home for more than 2 or 3 weeks at a stretch without feeling like scratching my eyes out.

so, these are the places that i’m going to pencil into my calendar and hopefully some, if not all, will materialise:

• perth, to see my cousin
• krabi
• bangkok
• hong kong + shenzen/guangzhou
• shanghai
• laos
• vietnam
• pulau ubin/other offshore island

it’s not that many places to cover in the space of 3 months, so it’s definitely possible. now it’s just a matter of convincing friends and family to skip school / take leave / sacrifice weekends to come along with me. it’s probably going to take a charm offensive, but i’s gotta do what i’s gotta do, y’know?

right, now that i’ve gotten that out of my system, it’s time to get back to grafting. i’ve not got much hope for the exam tomorrow, but as i repeatedly tell myself, i just have to pass it and everything’s gravy.

i’m tired.

all this going out and staying out till late before exams is becoming a bad habit.

it doesn’t help that i just can’t be arsed to revise security and credit support. i’ve read it so many times i’m so sick of it. but then, at the same time, do i really know it? do i give up now and take the plunge on monday, crossing my fingers and hoping for the best?

i don’t think so.

i’m too much of a scaredy cat to ever not revise for an exam.

today was the last day of school proper. for the rest of my life, hopefully. but of course, i have a whole tranche of exams before i can actually let that sigh of relief escape from my lips, before i can say ‘it’s all over!’

it’s been a long hard slog so far.

people never tell you this, but becoming a lawyer takes as long as it does an architect and a doctor. so, kids, if people tell you that studying medicine takes ages, let me tell you right now that it takes at least 6 years to be a qualified solicitor. 3 years of undergrad, 1 year of GDL (if you didn’t do a law degree), 1 year of LPC, and 2 years of training. count them. but at least in the last two you might get rather highly paid, plus one or two years of subsidisation by the law firm.

snyway, i have to remind myself that it’s not over. yet. and that there really IS a point in doing revision, even though all i seem to be reading about is tax implications of a share sale and/or an asset sale. or reps and warranties, and disclosures, and how to limit the liability of the seller. and how to protect the lender and borrower. and what the issuer needs to know before they can issue bonds/shares, buy another company, hire a director, take a dump etc. pretty useless but useful stuff (i know that seems to be an oxymoron, but it isn’t. trust me).

maybe i think there isn’t a point because i just want to pass, and all i need to do is pass. i’m not going to get a £500 bonus even if i get distinctions in everything, so what’s the point, really? i’m really just going through the motions. although some of the things taht i’ve learnt this term have been pretty interesting. things about takeovers and private equity funds and management buy-outs etc. riveting stuff. but not riveting enough to make me want to wake up at 7am every morning and get revising for 6 to 8 hours a day.

i probably need to get some sort of system going. i’ll start by getting new batteries for my alarm clock. tomorrow.

if you want me you can find me in the garden

… unless it’s pouring down with rain.

but it’s been very dry, dry as a bone in fact, after the weeks of sopping wetness.

and having gotten rid of the cat, for now, i’ve been busy shoving peas into the soil and scattering rocket and basil seeds wherever i can.

this is lazy gardening, aided by the lack of a large and limitless supply of soil/potting compost. i really really must get a sack of compost soon, or else i’ll be growing nothing this year. but it’s difficult to fit a 40l bag of soil onto the back of a bicycle. i shall have to make a day out of it and make use of M’s car.

and once that’s achieved, i can start putting to work the echinacea and verbena, the tomatoes and the mixed salad, and other things i can’t think of right now, but are sitting pretty in their packets in a box at the bottom of the cupboard. i’ve been collecting yoghurt pots, plastic containers, soup cans and vegetable trays in preparation.

- + – + – + – + – + -

phase 2 of school has started,
and it is hell.

no one needs to know so much about debt finance, equity finance and private acquisitions. and they all seem to merge together into this department called corporate and banking, so i’m probably not going to be totally clear where the decarcation lines are drawn until the exams, perhaps. on the other hand, whilst bits of it are as boring as can be, it’s fun to be doing ‘research’ on the FT when really all we’re doing is sussing out the richest and best private equity firms to jump ship to.

and 5 tutorials in a week is somewhat overdoing it, don’t you think? considering that they are 2 hours each, and we’re supposed to be doing 3 hours pre-tutorial preparation per tutorial. and what is this 6pm-8pm class?! i know it’s an elective, but there’s no need to take the piss.

and a drafting exam right after the easter holidays as well. they have no heart.

the LPC is amazingly boring and yet amazingly interesting at the same time.

i think it’s the fact that this is actually what i’m going to be doing and applying in real life in the near future that’s exciting. but the rote learning right now is so boring. practice makes for instinctive responses and sub-conscious reactions. not having done this for the past X number of years, this is just hard graft.

but still, at least i can tell you all the deadlines to avoid a judgment in default and how to negotiate a better lease with your landlord and what to do to avoid liability as a director.

the thing is, i know all this. getting marks for them on an exam is a whole different matter.

the end is nigh

right.

so i just had my last lecture and lesson of term, and i’ve never been so happy to finish term. honestly, this whole past 3 months has just been one great big SLOG. boring as hell, and totally non-intellectually challenging. argh.

anyway, i’m apparently having mock exams next week, but the score so far is PARTY/DRINKS/FUN – 2, REVISION – 0. can you tell i’m not going to score very well on the three papers we’re having next week?

but then again, our results aren’t going to count towards our final exam scores, so no harm in bombing them completely. my classmate is planning to sit there for 10 mins, then take the question paper and leave. brilliant plan, but i’m not built for leaving exams early. if i’m there, i’ll just do it whatever.

house party to attend in a few hours. i need to practice some self-control and stay away from the 20th glass of gin&tonic or the 4th bottle of wine. a hangover tomorrow is not going to do me any favours for when monday comes around.

christmas is coming! *excited* i hope it snows like it did last year.

man, i’ve been on lexisnexisbutterworths so long i’ve forgotten that in all other sites the back button actually works and will not fuck the whole thing up.

and having a cold while it’s cold and while having to to finish this piece of research assignment by monday is just not my idea of lots of fun.

i need a holiday. i want a holiday.

ok, i just want this weekend to be over.

oh, what is this need to distract self from pile of work?

especially since i started off so well, sitting down first thing after waking up and going to the loo and making tea and breakfast to my property tutorial sheet and reviewing lecture 7 like it told me to and answering the self-assessment questions before looking at the answers provided (ok i cheated for the last two questions, but the other 5 were done honestly) and also answering the questions after going through TP1.

and then it said ‘read chapter 40 of the property law and practice manual’ and everything fell to pieces. hello guardian online, tell me what’s up in the world today. hello bookmark bar tagged ‘blogs’, what have all these randoms/strangers/friends been telling everyone else. hello you. hello balcony, all you plants are doing so well for november even after i’ve ignored you for so long.

perhaps it is the fear of finally getting to a piece of work marked ‘Practical Legal Research Assessment 1′. because i’ve done about 4 hours research already, and i still don’t know if i’m in the right direction. and i want to keep putting it off till forever but the deadline is monday and i have all this other work to do in between.

i hate exams.

i hate doing business accounts.

especially when i have to hand it in by tomorrow morning even though i’ve got to go for dinner tonight. i don’t think BPP does extensions.

double entry book-keeping is incredibly confusing, although i think i’m getting the hang of a profit and loss account and the balance sheet thingies. except for the provision for doubtful debts part. that makes my brain go into meltdown mode.

anyway. back to my homework before i get to go out for the last supper with the best friend and friends till december.

*update – have actually finished my accounting homework. although creative accounting means i shall put off reading chapter 3 till before my tutorial (it wasn’t necessary to have read it to do my homework. yay!)

am actually also at home after friends decided to watch season 2 or 3 of Lost. i was reminded, once again, of how annoying the audio is on the series, and made my excuses soon after they began their viewing.

don’t ask me anything

apparently, because i’m not qualified yet, giving legal advice to people is a CRIMINAL OFFENCE.

that’s great excuse!

now everytime anyone asks me to go over some contract or do something vaguely legal or give them a legal opinion, i can say

’sorry, i’d like to help but it’d be a criminal offence for me to tell you anything, and i’m sure you wouldn’t want to be guilty of conspiracy to commit a criminal offence now, would you?’

or

‘if i tell you, i’d have to kill you, because either way it’s a crime.’

sometimes professional development and conduct lectures can be so crap. but other times, they actually impart useful and practical knowledge.